Buy My Face Blog

Today over breakfast, Ed asked the question, “are we celebrities yet?” Well this got me thinking… what boxes do you need to tick before you count as a celebrity?

 

Have you been in the news? Yes

Have you been on TV? Yes

If a girl, are you fit? If a boy, are you devilishly good looking? Yes

 

After some thought, we decided that celebrity status isn’t absolute, but rather, graded – there are varying degrees of celebrityness.  So the next question was, “how can we measure it?”  That’s when we came up with the new Harper-Moyse unit of measurement, the Celebriton (Clbt).  Measured on a scale relative to Charlie Sheen (because no one is more famous), we can now use Celebritons to pinpoint exactly how much of a celebrity BuyMyFace.com has made us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Louise (my girlfriend) has just finished her Christmas shopping, and this got me and Ross thinking – with skiing taking up early December, and preparation for our Christmas day charity auction eating up mid December, we really don’t have long to buy presents.  Disappointing our own family is a crime we take very seriously… especially since graduation, when our parents found out we were going to sell our faces instead of getting a job!  We can’t break the hearts of our loved ones this Christmas, so team Buy My Face moseyed on down to Bluewater shopping centre to pick up some first class gifts.  Unfortunately we can’t reveal these gifts on our blog until Christmas, because our families will no doubt be reading this (seriously – receives a lot of emails from our parents – they never miss a gremmatical error!)

Stardate 9521.6, Supreme Chancellor’s log.

 

This morning I awoke to a very excited Ed – “hey buddy”, he said, “fancy jumping out of a plane today?”  The answer of course, was yes!  We arrived at the Netheravon Parachute Centre, sporting our painted faces, and a hard look that showed we meant business.  “Do you remember your drills?” our Jump Master asked.  “Ha!” we said, and with military precision we shouted, “MALFUNCTION! LOOK! LOCATE! CUT! AWAY! RESERVE! ARCH!”

 

Needless to say, the Jump Master was impressed.  “You’re ready” she said with a proud look in her eyes, and with that we got into our flight suits, turned on our radios, and put on our helmets.  This would have been the perfect time to board the plane and meet our destiny, but unfortunately, parachuting isn’t as simple as that, and instead we ended up spending the whole day waiting for the weather to clear up.

 

It was just as we were starting to lose hope that the call came through on the tannoy, “Syndicate A. Kit up. It’s time to kiss the sky”.  We boarded the plane in slow motion, and took off. Higher and higher we climbed, the air grew thin, and ice began to form on our thick stubble, but we did not waver.  After filming a quick video, I shuffled into the open door of the plane, looked out… and jumped.

 

Now this is the part of the story where I’m going to break character, because what happened next was pretty frightening.  After about four seconds (the standard time it takes for a parachute to open) I looked up and saw, not a nice big rectangle suspending me in the air, but a bunch of twisted ropes… holy crap!  Well, this was the moment we’d been training for all yesterday afternoon – I started scissor kicking wildly until my parachute untangled itself.

 

At the end of it all both Ed and I landed safe and sound to tell the amazing story of altitude solutions and their web designing talents.  All in all, a great day, and now we have two feet firmly on the ground; we’re looking forward to many more like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Altitude Solutions have sent us skydiving along with their cofounders, Rob and Jack – today was training.  We turned up at a military base expecting to jump off a chair a few times and then go home.  However, it turns out you need to know a lot more than how to jump off a chair in order to avoid becoming grandma’s trifle.  After 9 hours of training, I feel sufficiently set to cope with tangled parachutes, collapsed parachutes, as well as unwanted reserve parachute deployment.  Hec, I feel like a well-timed PLF means I could jump out of the plane without a parachute at all… but I won’t…

We’re going skydiving this Sunday, and as our date with destiny fast approaches, there’s something I’ve been meaning to do – go for one of those long, dramatic walks where I pause at every opportunity, breathe deeply, and have a serene look on my face as if I were at peace with the world. Now I’ll admit, this idea was not completely my own. It was suggested to me by a friend who I don’t normally go to for advice, but as everyone else I’d spoken to had told me to stop acting like an idiot, I’d run out of options.

 

The plan was to go to the Royal Crescent in Bath as the sun is setting – the perfect place for a self-indulgent montage. Unfortunately, our timing was a tad off and as we got in the car and turned on the headlights, we realized that the sun may have already set. Somewhat disappointed, we went back home and made some dinner.