Every Christmas, my family and I go and visit all our relatives in sunny Wolverhampton.  However, this year was slightly different – my girlfriend was coming with us for the first time.  I led with my ace card, thrusting my 6-month-old baby cousin, Annabelle, into Laura’s arms.  She melted.

 

 

Being situated outside London gives my aunt the right to keep animals, and with this in mind, I decided Laura needed to meet the rest of the family.  Now I’m not going to bore you with the details on how things transpired (perhaps I misjudged things, or perhaps I was the victim of an elaborate conspiracy), but I ended up with a chicken in my hands. “Just touch it”, I kept saying to Laura, “you’ll like it”.  I paused for a moment to consider how all this sounded to passers by who could not see the chicken, before continuing on my mission.  “Laura, it’s a chicken, which I have picked up… as my girlfriend, you have to touch it!”

 

I won. Laura touched the chicken. We’ve made plans for next year’s Christmas celebrations.