One of the great benefits of BuyMyFace.com is that I get to hang out with my best friend all day doing whatever I feel like doing. One of the biggest problems with this BuyMyFace.com, however, is that I waste a lot of my time procrastinating with an idiot and looking at stupid stuff on the internet.

So, I’m in a bit of a dilemma. What can I do? The best and worst thing about my job is exactly the same! The answer, of course, is to search the web until I find something worth the time investment….

All’s well that ends well - http://www.smbc-comics.com/

Dingbats are good, but they’re no Facebats:

Big tease

Quality over quantity

My older sister, Laura, turns 25 next weekend, but she’s currently at university doing a PGCE, so we decided to have a big ol’ birthday celebration for her today. Now you’re probably thinking, “isn’t Ross’ girlfriend called Laura?” And you’d be right… but that’s a different Laura.

So, after celebrating all day (the usual – cake, board games, songs, pirates, yoga, and 19^th century steam engines), I remembered that I had to write a blog post. Oh no! I can’t think of a pun for today’s title! Ok, think. You can do this Ross. It should have something to do with birthdays… Many Happy Returns? Sounds good, but it’s not really a pun is it? I know! Hey Ed, can I borrow your pencil? Cheers pal. Thanks for that. Now, why don’t you take it back, noting the fact that I’m returning it to you.

Ha! That was easy. The title shall be ‘Many Happy Returns’… wait a second… many!? Ed I need to borrow your pencil again!

This was not the pencil I borrowed...

We’re very excited having spent all day applying for Total Wipeout.  To think!  This could be us:

After a slice of our delicious cake-ad from two days ago, we hit the road in the BuyMyFaceMobile™.  We haven’t really blogged much about this little gem of a car, which is weird, because we spend a lot of our lives in it.  Anyway, she’s called Sammy, has no radio, sometimes slips out of first gear, steams up somewhat irreversibly, and has almost no ground clearance.  In short, she’s a rescue car – my parents were going to put her down, so Ross and I took it upon ourselves to treat her with a bit of love.

So, singing “We Are The Champions” with one hand pressed firmly on the gearstick, the other wiping steam from the windows, we drove around the first dreaded speed-bump on our way to pick my girlfriend up from University.  When we arrived at Bath, we realised she had a lot of shoes.  In fact, she had so many shoes that Ross had to use the 6th seat of the 5-seater BuyMyFaceMobile™.

I Can Totally Get My Leg Around a Further 180°

Last night, after a long day in the office, we found time to go for a drink with some friends from university.  That sounds like fun, right?  Wrong!  Once again, Ed and I got back home in the early hours of the morning, and ended up playing our usual game – eat everything in the fridge.

To make up for all that indulgence, I thought it was best to try and get a bit of exercise, and as always, inspiration lay on the TV.  After watching the latest Karate Kid film, I was pumped and ready to fly-kick my way to a healthy lifestyle.  ‘Hiiya! Wacha! Hoorah! Ha… Ed?’  In my enthusiasm, it seems I’d struck my business  partner – who for some reason had fallen asleep under a pile of cushions – square in the face.

Don’t worry though, Ed’s fine (I was only ‘Hachya-ing’ at 50%).

Now that we’re practically millionaires, we thought it was time to hire a BuyMyFace accountant (there’s only so long you can cross your fingers and hope everything will work out). Not wishing to be involved in an international tax scandal at the age of 22, Ed and I set off into London to meet with our would-be accountant.

We dispensed with the pleasantries and got straight to business – so, um, what’s VAT?

This is a Dutch Cheese Vat

E4 have teamed up with Picturehouse Cinemas to give students the Slackers Club.  All you need is a valid student ID, and you’ll be able to go to the cinema for free once a month to see a new film they’ve chosen for you.  The problem is, we know that lots of you students aren’t slackers at all – when you’re not working, you’re practicing kung-fu, or swimming, or partying.  We decided it was worth taking time out of our otherwise busy day of radio interviews and solving Rubik’s cubes to see if this Slackers Club is as good/easy as it claims to be.  It was – I reckon even the busiest student has time for one free film a month.

Today our faces were bought by TwoToo – a charity dedicated to scarfing the homeless. Feeling the warm touch of charity, Ed and I decided to throw on our very own TwoToo scarfs and went out to buy the latest copy of the Big Issue. Erm well, I say ‘Ed and I’ when what I really mean is ‘I’ (Ed forgot to bring his).

We walked in the blistering January cold for fifteen minutes, but when we arrived at the usual Big Issue distribution spot, we were met with the following…

... nothing

Clearly we were the only people stupid enough to be outside in the winter weather! “Come on then Ed, let’s go home… Ed?… Ed?”  Turns out the lack of a scarf had left Ed with a bad case of the shivers, or as he put it, “hypo… hypo… thermia”.  What a baby!  Anyway, as Ed proceeded to pass out on a park bench, I chose to spend some time thinking about how to prevent my partner’s untimely death adversely affecting BuyMyFace.com.  Don’t worry, everything should be ok, but I’m going to need to make a few minor tweaks to the story:

‘Cambridge University graduate, Ross Harper, is selling advertising space on his face for the next year in an attempt to raise money for his best-friends funeral.’

Simple.

Ross Harper – 1.

The devastating effects of nature – 0.

Ross loves chicken, Ross’ girlfriend loves chicken, I love chicken, and Ray loves chicken.  Wait a minute… who’s Ray?  Well you would have known had Germany not edited him out of the Buy My Face news feature.  He’s a friend from uni who’s now working in London – we see far too little of him, so headed to Nandos in attempt to exhaust their supply of chickens.

[about an hour later]

Ross: Is that all you’ve got?  hahaahahaaHAHAHAAHAAA.  IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT?

No.  Turns out they had more.  Still, we’d eaten a lot of protein, so it was time to put this amino acid to work by building our brain muscles (Ross told me this isn’t how it works, but what does he know?!?… it’s not like he’s a neuroscientist…).

We headed back to play some chess… {careful Ed – don’t alienate all the blog readers who aren’t geeks}… whilst talking about cars… {you’re losing the women, Ed}… and perming our hair… {nobody perms their hair anymore!  Ed, the young audience’s attention is drifting as if it were wearing those shoes with wheels in the heels)… interspersed with random outcries of “banter”… {good, now tie it off}… on a unicorn.  {nice!}