We had to be on top form tonight, as we were out out for a meal with Ross’ dad and his work colleagues.  I was rehearsing my lines in front of the mirror:

Ed: Hi, my name is Ed, and I’m with Ross’ dad.  Instead of getting a job, Ross and I decided to paint our faces for a living, which is why I’m now a semi-permanent addition to the Harper family.

Nailed it!  Succinct, coherent, and is sure to avoid opening a potential can of worms.

Ross: Err… Ed… err… about tonight

Ed: Yea [polishing shoes]

Ross: Maybe you should go crash elsewhere

Ed: …

Ross: It’s not you – it’s me.

Ed: … really?

Ross: No.  It’s you.  I’m afraid it’d just be too weird if you came.

 

So it was decided.  I took my unwelcome guest services elsewhere – to Pizza Express with my girlfriend and all of her uni friends.  Ahhhhh, balance restored.

Twas the night before Valentine’s Day, when all through the market,

Not a flower was bought, not even an orchid,

The overpriced cards mass produced without care,

In hopes that consumers soon would be there.

 

Needless to say, I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, and unfortunately it’s beating me this year – I feel slightly ashamed to say that I’ve gone for the flowers and card combo.

Valentine’s Day: 1, Ed: 0

However, I’ll be levelling the playing field by getting dinner in tomorrow – fajitas, with mouth-watering half price vanilla Haagen Daz for dessert.  Yum!

Valentine’s Day: 1, Ed: 1

… and what will I be doing with the time saved not travelling on a jam-packed tube to a crowded restaurant?… well…

Louise: 1

 

Remember back at Christmas when my girlfriend, Laura, fell in love? Not with me but with my baby cousin, Annabelle. Well today was a bad day. Annabelle had come to visit, which in itself isn’t a bad thing, but unfortunately, the term ‘visit’ has an implicit consequence – the visitor has to leave. After a weekend of being transformed into a smiling, giggling, cuddling machine, Laura was left with a void that could only be filled with intolerance… for me!

 

Ross: Hey Laura, can I get you a cup of tea.

Laura: No you can’t get me a cup of tea! I made myself one yesterday and I haven’t wanted one since!

Ross: Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that. Um, can I get you anything else?

Laura: If I want something, I’ll ask for it.

Ross: Ok.

Laura: Ross, I want you to shut up.

Ross: …?

 

 

 

Dearest blog readers, we’re sorry. BuyMyFace.com was having some boring techy stuff done to it in order to keep it working. That’s why BuyMyFace.com looked funny for a few days, and that’s why we haven’t been able to blog either… but we’ve fixed that, so go back, read up, and eat your heart out. We’re back:

 

Today we rounded off the week with an event organized by Ernst & Young. The Cambridge economics society descended on a conference room at St Catherine’s college for a series of talks on life as an accountant. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Sounds fun, but what really interests me as a reader is drinks and nibbles”. Well get ready to have your mind blown! There was orange juice, sparkling water, wine, and even little canapes on edible spoons made of wafer.

 

Oh yeh, also, Ernst & Young gave away an iPod to one of the guests.

 

 

Facebook is a part of all our lives. I’m willing to admit that without it, I’d be nothing. Yes, logging-on is as natural to me as eating, sleeping, and even breathing, so imagine my delight when I heard that Ernst & Young would be hiring us to, in a nutshell, use facebook.

 

In true E&Y style, we were kitted out in bright yellow hoodies, anoraks, and umbrellas, and to top it all off, we were once again smothered with hundreds of packets of jellybeans – the horror! After dropping our bags off in the room we rented from our old college, we hit the town with our faces painted and our hands full of jellybeans. People say you should never accept sweets from a stranger… I’m guessing the students of Cambridge didn’t get the memo.

The man, the CEO, the student, and the legend that is Rob Dinsey had his birthday today.  To celebrate his birth we hit up Wetherspoons with 30 select guests, and after a little while, it started snowing.  Our 20 minute journey home turned into a 2 hour treck; back and forth on a handful of operational buses, having found that the Jubilee Line was closed.

 

Rob: Closed!  CLOSED!  HOW CAN THE RUDDY UNDERGROUND BE CLOSED?!!?!?  I suppose it’s been snowing through the roof, has it?!

 

Still, all this kerfuffle was worthwhile for that single moment from when the perfectly rounded snowball left my hand to its impact on Rob’s ear.  Ahhhhh, bliss.

Last week, someone had the audacity to claim that face paint was in no way cool. They couldn’t be more wrong! Not only do our paints make us ghetto… seriously ghetto… but they are also a powerful babe magnet. Don’t believe me? Well today, when the sun went down, BuyMyFace took part in a somewhat raunchy game of Doctors and Nurses. That’s right. Risky! I had a slight cough so my girlfriend (who’s training as a medic) had a listen to my chest. Dayyam!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ross and I had been playing shampoo chicken for the last few days.  Not heard of it?  Well that’s because we invented it.  Picture two guys driving cars at one another, each driver determined not to chicken out first by turning the steering wheel.  Feel the adrenaline rushing.  Hear the engines roaring.  Marvel at the overall epicness of the whole ordeal!

 

Now replace the cars with shampoo.  Ross and I had been going head to head for the last 5 days in attempt to survive the longest without washing our hair.  It ended today, inspired by our face-ad.  Although Janey Lee Grace’s book, How to Look Good Naturally, does advocate less frequent washing of your hair, it also advocates looking good.  5 days in and the madness has ended – BuyMyFace.com shareholders will be relieved.

 

Ed and I have always argued about our mobile phones. I’m a big supporter of the iPhone, whereas Ed favours anything that doesn’t cost him much money. You can imagine my delight, therefore, when Ed went into his pocket to pull out his iPhone substitute (an HTC wildfire), only to find a big fat crack across the screen.

 

Immediately, my brain was flooded with crap-phone-related jokes. In a manner of seconds, I’d selected the best ten and had devised the context in which to use them in. I was just about to begin the abuse when I looked over and saw a single tear run down Ed’s cheek. Oh… Um… Ah.

 

 

“Hey man, I wouldn’t worry about it. I think it’s a common problem with most touch screens. Why don’t we have a look online and see if we can return the phone and get it fixed?” Ed sniffed and nodded sheepishly. “Ok, come on, let’s crack on with it”. Ed glared at me – it seems with all those jokes floating around in my head, one was bound it slip out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This morning started like any other: snoozing the Florence and Machine alarm tone I secretly enjoy waking up to, and wiping the sleep from my eyes… but the more I wiped my eyes, the more sleep appeared.  Something was wrong.  It wasn’t sleep at all – it was mucus.  I feared for the worst.

 

One of my friends had warned me about cat AIDS – symptoms are very much like a normal cold, but they persist indefinitely.  This disease, transferred to humans through cat sneezes, whilst not life threatening, has no cure and will haunt you for the rest of your life.  Thinking that perhaps one of Ross’ cats had snuck into my room in the night, I quickly Googled “can humans get cat AIDS?”  You’ll be pleased to hear that the answer is no.  I just have a cold.

 

[By the way, I’d highly recommend typing “hypochondriac” into Google – one of the suggestions was “hypochondriac symptoms”.  Very amusing]