We had to be on top form tonight, as we were out out for a meal with Ross’ dad and his work colleagues.  I was rehearsing my lines in front of the mirror:

Ed: Hi, my name is Ed, and I’m with Ross’ dad.  Instead of getting a job, Ross and I decided to paint our faces for a living, which is why I’m now a semi-permanent addition to the Harper family.

Nailed it!  Succinct, coherent, and is sure to avoid opening a potential can of worms.

Ross: Err… Ed… err… about tonight

Ed: Yea [polishing shoes]

Ross: Maybe you should go crash elsewhere

Ed: …

Ross: It’s not you – it’s me.

Ed: … really?

Ross: No.  It’s you.  I’m afraid it’d just be too weird if you came.

 

So it was decided.  I took my unwelcome guest services elsewhere – to Pizza Express with my girlfriend and all of her uni friends.  Ahhhhh, balance restored.