Granted, Buy My Face isn’t the most obvious career path to take. People have accused us of being crazy, idiotic, naïve, and my personal favourite, deranged. And to these sordid accusations, we reply… perhaps. The important thing, however, is that none of this makes a difference when you’re chilling-out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and shooting some b-ball… on your own private yacht!
And so, Ed and I are on a mission: to completely sell out, power through the vicious name-calling, and hopefully make enough money to pay off our university debt. Yes, if all goes to plan, in a year from now, we may well have reached the dizzying heights of a ground floor, one bedroom apartment in South East London.
So how did Buy My Face come about? Well, most decent ideas are the result of careful thinking and a gradual process of refinement until you reach the perfect end product. This one, however, was not. Around 2 months ago, just before the start of our final-year university exams, Ed asked the question, “Ross, we’re massively in debt, right?”.
Setting aside the fact that this was a huge bomb to drop on a guy watching BBC iPlayer in his underwear at 3pm while eating a Pot Noodle, I have to say I was a little offended. Just because Ed was having money troubles didn’t mean I was too. Unfortunately, however, he was right. The conversation then went a little like this…
| Ed |
Ross, we're massively in debt, right? |
| Ross |
… yes. |
| Ed |
Well, I was just wondering. How are we going to pay it all off? |
| Ross |
Don't worry man, things have a way of working themselves out. |
| Ed |
Yeh I know, but the thing is, you always say that, and things never do seem to work themselves out. |
| Ross |
Ok Ed. We're going to leave university, fail to get jobs, live sad lonely lives, and realise at 56 that any chance of happiness died a long time ago in the back room of a seedy bar in Slough. Is that what you want me to say! |
(A moment of silence)
| Ross |
Alright, look, I'm sorry I shouted. And don't worry, we'll find the money somewhere. |
| Ross |
Ed… Ed?… Here, do you want the rest of my Pot Noodle? |
| Ed |
What flavour is it? |
| Ross |
Chicken and mushroom. |
| Ed |
I don't like mushroom. |
| Ross |
Well, I'm pretty sure it's not real mushroom. Do you want it or not? |
| Ed |
… yes. |
(Another moment of silence while Ed finished the Pot Noodle)
| Ed |
So what are we going to do about money then? |
| Ross |
Well I suppose we'll either have to sort jobs out fast, or come up with some sort of genius money-making scheme. |
| Ed |
I like the sound of the second option. |
| Ross |
Ok, well let's think. Do we have anything special? Something that no one else has? |
| Ed |
Faces. |
| Ross |
Faces? Who the hell do you know that doesn't have a face!? |
| Ed |
Right, right. But what about this… we could sell them! Our faces I mean. |
| Ross |
… kiss people for money? |
| Ed |
No, no we could sell our faces as advertising space! |
(A final moment of silence where eye contact was held for longer than appropriate)
| Ross |
It's brilliant! It's biological real estate! |
And with that, the idea was born. Another 15 minutes of ironing out the kinks, and the ball was rolling. So, where are we now? Well, I’m currently on a train on my way to Ed’s house in Poole for the beginning of our gap year together. Thomas the Tech Engine is buildin’ t’ website up North, and we’ll be putting in the leg work to make sure Buy My Face becomes something worth talking about…
