We’re going to have a documentary made about BuyMyFace.com! This morning was spent talking to the guy who’s going to film it for us and storyboarding – the humble beginnings of two adolescents growing up on ‘the street’ (of Cambridge), the discovery of their face-painting talent that they hide from disparaging friends, the rise to riches and fame as they leave their old life behind, and the sex scandal that bankrupts them.

 

With our morning’s work done, we had to shift up a gear for go-karting in the afternoon. In the last month, we’ve been professional skydivers, theatre critiques, and cocktail connoisseurs, but it was time to become race drivers for team AppZapp. We accelerated, slip-streamed, span and crashed into 8th and 9th place out of 15 (in our defence, most of the people who beat us had twin-engine karts). As fun as it was, I think we’ll need a bit more experience before bringing out the AppZapp F1 team!

 

Vroom! Screech! Vroom! Screech! That was the sound of our oh-so-skillful driving as we navigated the traffic lights of Norwich today.  We stole ourselves away from the electric atmosphere of the Buy My Face head office to film a promotional video for US2U Consulting in what they described as, “our characteristic quirky style”.

 

Having begun the day in Cambridge, our video-shooting escapades took us into the depths of Norwich city where we were forced to eat chips, drink beer, and stage a Christmas photo for the US2U consulting Christmas card. Luckily, we managed to escape with our lives and are now back in good old, safe, predictable London… [BANG]… what was that?

 

 

 

 

Today over breakfast, Ed asked the question, “are we celebrities yet?” Well this got me thinking… what boxes do you need to tick before you count as a celebrity?

 

Have you been in the news? Yes

Have you been on TV? Yes

If a girl, are you fit? If a boy, are you devilishly good looking? Yes

 

After some thought, we decided that celebrity status isn’t absolute, but rather, graded – there are varying degrees of celebrityness.  So the next question was, “how can we measure it?”  That’s when we came up with the new Harper-Moyse unit of measurement, the Celebriton (Clbt).  Measured on a scale relative to Charlie Sheen (because no one is more famous), we can now use Celebritons to pinpoint exactly how much of a celebrity BuyMyFace.com has made us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Louise (my girlfriend) has just finished her Christmas shopping, and this got me and Ross thinking – with skiing taking up early December, and preparation for our Christmas day charity auction eating up mid December, we really don’t have long to buy presents.  Disappointing our own family is a crime we take very seriously… especially since graduation, when our parents found out we were going to sell our faces instead of getting a job!  We can’t break the hearts of our loved ones this Christmas, so team Buy My Face moseyed on down to Bluewater shopping centre to pick up some first class gifts.  Unfortunately we can’t reveal these gifts on our blog until Christmas, because our families will no doubt be reading this (seriously – receives a lot of emails from our parents – they never miss a gremmatical error!)

Stardate 9521.6, Supreme Chancellor’s log.

 

This morning I awoke to a very excited Ed – “hey buddy”, he said, “fancy jumping out of a plane today?”  The answer of course, was yes!  We arrived at the Netheravon Parachute Centre, sporting our painted faces, and a hard look that showed we meant business.  “Do you remember your drills?” our Jump Master asked.  “Ha!” we said, and with military precision we shouted, “MALFUNCTION! LOOK! LOCATE! CUT! AWAY! RESERVE! ARCH!”

 

Needless to say, the Jump Master was impressed.  “You’re ready” she said with a proud look in her eyes, and with that we got into our flight suits, turned on our radios, and put on our helmets.  This would have been the perfect time to board the plane and meet our destiny, but unfortunately, parachuting isn’t as simple as that, and instead we ended up spending the whole day waiting for the weather to clear up.

 

It was just as we were starting to lose hope that the call came through on the tannoy, “Syndicate A. Kit up. It’s time to kiss the sky”.  We boarded the plane in slow motion, and took off. Higher and higher we climbed, the air grew thin, and ice began to form on our thick stubble, but we did not waver.  After filming a quick video, I shuffled into the open door of the plane, looked out… and jumped.

 

Now this is the part of the story where I’m going to break character, because what happened next was pretty frightening.  After about four seconds (the standard time it takes for a parachute to open) I looked up and saw, not a nice big rectangle suspending me in the air, but a bunch of twisted ropes… holy crap!  Well, this was the moment we’d been training for all yesterday afternoon – I started scissor kicking wildly until my parachute untangled itself.

 

At the end of it all both Ed and I landed safe and sound to tell the amazing story of altitude solutions and their web designing talents.  All in all, a great day, and now we have two feet firmly on the ground; we’re looking forward to many more like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Altitude Solutions have sent us skydiving along with their cofounders, Rob and Jack – today was training.  We turned up at a military base expecting to jump off a chair a few times and then go home.  However, it turns out you need to know a lot more than how to jump off a chair in order to avoid becoming grandma’s trifle.  After 9 hours of training, I feel sufficiently set to cope with tangled parachutes, collapsed parachutes, as well as unwanted reserve parachute deployment.  Hec, I feel like a well-timed PLF means I could jump out of the plane without a parachute at all… but I won’t…

Walking into the Wyvern Theatre in Swindon, we were greeted by a strange site – us!  Our painted faces were displayed on the plasma screen by reception, advertising the Cinderella pantomime starring Cheggers.  It launches 10th December, so unfortunately we couldn’t see it just yet, but we did meet Cheggers (much to my mum’s delight – she’s a big fan), then headed into Swindon with him for the Christmas lights turn on.

 

We boarded a VIP bus in the centre of town along with loads of radio presenters – one of them recognised us, so we had a quick interview, then watched a group of Santa’s glamorous assistants get jiggy to “All I Want For Christmas Is You” from the open-top of the double-decker bus.  Surreal (in a good way!).

 

At the end of the day, Wyvern Theatre kindly gave us tickets to see Magic of Motown.  It was magical.

This is the part of the job I love – getting paid to eat crisps. It would have been a bit boring to just plough through the packets like a pair of hungry pigs, so we decided to do things properly…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 meals a day = a healthy business

 

 

 

 

We were kindly given tickets by Naked Dragon to go listen to one of their inspirational talks.  The speaker today was , Radio 2 presenter and author of “Imperfectly Natural Woman”, so we picked up some skin care tips that you ladies have been hiding from us.  I’ve translated for the guys reading this:

 

Tip 1: Coconut oil is a cheap and effective natural moisturiser and hair conditioner.

Guys: Have a snack and give your skin a treat after shaving – coconut oil is edible too!

Tip 2: It’s not just the products you put on your skin that are important – the water you bathe in is too.  You can de-chlorinate bath/shower water with a chlorine filter.

Guys: You might be asked to fit a chlorine filter to the shower.  Don’t ask questions – just get the toolkit out.  It’s time to feel like a man – trial and error baby, trial and error!

Tip 3: Most people wash too much.  Humans aren’t designed to wash every day – it strips nutrients from your skin, so you should cut back, with the target being once a week.

Guys: Keep up the good work!

 

 

 

“Ok class, time’s up, pencils down, please hand in your papers at the front… Erm, Ross, why aren’t you wearing any trousers?”

 

For the last few nights, my dreams have been plagued with education-themed social tragedy. This could be due to the fact that when I was sixteen, I came to school having forgotten to wear clothes, causing all the kids to laugh and throw things at me, or far more likely, because today Ed and I were guest speakers in a business administration lecture at Bath University.

 

Whatever the reason for my night terrors, we woke up, got dressed and turned up ready to impress, and as far as talking to a room full of intelligent business students goes, I think it went pretty well. We explained the ins and outs of BuyMyFace.com, how things have been, what we are hoping to achieve, and we even left time for questions at the end… Professional.

 

 

Thoroughly pleased with ourselves, and with egos at an all time high, we decided to grab a Shakeaway milkshake, making use of a discount voucher downloaded from the Urban Tribe site – They’rrrrrrrre Great!™

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today Louise and I had a romantic 80s date roller-skating… and Ross came too, of course! People have been asking how all the “third-wheeling” has been going, as if it’s a problem – our tripod relationship is very stable…

{hmmm… that sounded unintentionally kinky… oh dear – seem to be thinking aloud again. Never mind – maybe the readers won’t notice.  What I need is a cunning distraction}

I’M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT.  HERE’S MY HANDLE, HERE’S MY SPOUT.

{Oh Ed, you sly dog!}

Whilst Louise and I re-enacted the classic rom-com ‘guy can’t skate’ scene, Ross was busy wiping out some helpless girls during roller-skate version of the okie cokie. All in all, good work from team Buy My Face!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember remember to stick to the pavement. We were at Ottery, St Mary in Devon for the annual flaming tar barrel celebration. Thousands of people flood the streets of this quiet English town as the biggest locals run up and down the crowded road carrying flaming barrels of tar. It is extremely dangerous… and incredibly fun! If ever you fancy watching the madness, pay close attention to the sweeping cries of “BARREL!” through the audience – if they’re getting louder, you need to run!