We’ve never been advocates of social unrest, but there comes a time in every man’s life when he must stand up and be accounted for. The ancient Incas of Peru knew the score, which is why the Republican government silenced them! Nothing is real! Question everything!
What on earth am I talking about? Well I think it’s pretty obvious really. But for those of you still confused, perhaps this video will clear things up.
Facebook is a part of all our lives. I’m willing to admit that without it, I’d be nothing. Yes, logging-on is as natural to me as eating, sleeping, and even breathing, so imagine my delight when I heard that Ernst & Young would be hiring us to, in a nutshell, use facebook.
In true E&Y style, we were kitted out in bright yellow hoodies, anoraks, and umbrellas, and to top it all off, we were once again smothered with hundreds of packets of jellybeans – the horror! After dropping our bags off in the room we rented from our old college, we hit the town with our faces painted and our hands full of jellybeans. People say you should never accept sweets from a stranger… I’m guessing the students of Cambridge didn’t get the memo.
The man, the CEO, the student, and the legend that is Rob Dinsey had his birthday today. To celebrate his birth we hit up Wetherspoons with 30 select guests, and after a little while, it started snowing. Our 20 minute journey home turned into a 2 hour treck; back and forth on a handful of operational buses, having found that the Jubilee Line was closed.
Rob: Closed! CLOSED! HOW CAN THE RUDDY UNDERGROUND BE CLOSED?!!?!? I suppose it’s been snowing through the roof, has it?!
Still, all this kerfuffle was worthwhile for that single moment from when the perfectly rounded snowball left my hand to its impact on Rob’s ear. Ahhhhh, bliss.
Last week, someone had the audacity to claim that face paint was in no way cool. They couldn’t be more wrong! Not only do our paints make us ghetto… seriously ghetto… but they are also a powerful babe magnet. Don’t believe me? Well today, when the sun went down, BuyMyFace took part in a somewhat raunchy game of Doctors and Nurses. That’s right. Risky! I had a slight cough so my girlfriend (who’s training as a medic) had a listen to my chest. Dayyam!
mmm hmmm
Ross and I had been playing shampoo chicken for the last few days. Not heard of it? Well that’s because we invented it. Picture two guys driving cars at one another, each driver determined not to chicken out first by turning the steering wheel. Feel the adrenaline rushing. Hear the engines roaring. Marvel at the overall epicness of the whole ordeal!
Now replace the cars with shampoo. Ross and I had been going head to head for the last 5 days in attempt to survive the longest without washing our hair. It ended today, inspired by our face-ad. Although Janey Lee Grace’s book, How to Look Good Naturally, does advocate less frequent washing of your hair, it also advocates looking good. 5 days in and the madness has ended – BuyMyFace.com shareholders will be relieved.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ed and I have always argued about our mobile phones. I’m a big supporter of the iPhone, whereas Ed favours anything that doesn’t cost him much money. You can imagine my delight, therefore, when Ed went into his pocket to pull out his iPhone substitute (an HTC wildfire), only to find a big fat crack across the screen.
Immediately, my brain was flooded with crap-phone-related jokes. In a manner of seconds, I’d selected the best ten and had devised the context in which to use them in. I was just about to begin the abuse when I looked over and saw a single tear run down Ed’s cheek. Oh… Um… Ah.
“Hey man, I wouldn’t worry about it. I think it’s a common problem with most touch screens. Why don’t we have a look online and see if we can return the phone and get it fixed?” Ed sniffed and nodded sheepishly. “Ok, come on, let’s crack on with it”. Ed glared at me – it seems with all those jokes floating around in my head, one was bound it slip out.
At the post office. I think the girl in the background is also surprised that Ed bought an HTC.
This morning started like any other: snoozing the Florence and Machine alarm tone I secretly enjoy waking up to, and wiping the sleep from my eyes… but the more I wiped my eyes, the more sleep appeared. Something was wrong. It wasn’t sleep at all – it was mucus. I feared for the worst.
Take cover - he's about to sneeze!
One of my friends had warned me about cat AIDS – symptoms are very much like a normal cold, but they persist indefinitely. This disease, transferred to humans through cat sneezes, whilst not life threatening, has no cure and will haunt you for the rest of your life. Thinking that perhaps one of Ross’ cats had snuck into my room in the night, I quickly Googled “can humans get cat AIDS?” You’ll be pleased to hear that the answer is no. I just have a cold.
[By the way, I’d highly recommend typing “hypochondriac” into Google – one of the suggestions was “hypochondriac symptoms”. Very amusing]
One of the great benefits of BuyMyFace.com is that I get to hang out with my best friend all day doing whatever I feel like doing. One of the biggest problems with this BuyMyFace.com, however, is that I waste a lot of my time procrastinating with an idiot and looking at stupid stuff on the internet.
So, I’m in a bit of a dilemma. What can I do? The best and worst thing about my job is exactly the same! The answer, of course, is to search the web until I find something worth the time investment….
All’s well that ends well - http://www.smbc-comics.com/
Dingbats are good, but they’re no Facebats:
Big tease
Quality over quantity
My older sister, Laura, turns 25 next weekend, but she’s currently at university doing a PGCE, so we decided to have a big ol’ birthday celebration for her today. Now you’re probably thinking, “isn’t Ross’ girlfriend called Laura?” And you’d be right… but that’s a different Laura.
So, after celebrating all day (the usual – cake, board games, songs, pirates, yoga, and 19th century steam engines), I remembered that I had to write a blog post. Oh no! I can’t think of a pun for today’s title! Ok, think. You can do this Ross. It should have something to do with birthdays… Many Happy Returns? Sounds good, but it’s not really a pun is it? I know! Hey Ed, can I borrow your pencil? Cheers pal. Thanks for that. Now, why don’t you take it back, noting the fact that I’m returning it to you.
Ha! That was easy. The title shall be ‘Many Happy Returns’… wait a second… many!? Ed I need to borrow your pencil again!
This was not the pencil I borrowed...
We’re very excited having spent all day applying for Total Wipeout. To think! This could be us:
Front of the class, oh yeh.
BuyMyFace.com is a business, a super-mega-awesome-fun business, but a business nonetheless. That’s why today we went to a management talk from none other than Sir Christopher Croft (knighthood pending). The topic was Time Management. We turned up late. Clearly this would be a worthwhile talk.
An hour and a half later, we’d covered everything from the meaning of life to the importance of lists (pretty dam important). As everyone began to stir and begin their slow exit, I realized I’d developed cramp in my hand from taking so many notes. Don’t feel bad for me though, poor Ed had developed cramp in his hand from… well… let’s say taking too many notes.
Ed! Stop taking notes!
After a slice of our delicious cake-ad from two days ago, we hit the road in the BuyMyFaceMobile™. We haven’t really blogged much about this little gem of a car, which is weird, because we spend a lot of our lives in it. Anyway, she’s called Sammy, has no radio, sometimes slips out of first gear, steams up somewhat irreversibly, and has almost no ground clearance. In short, she’s a rescue car – my parents were going to put her down, so Ross and I took it upon ourselves to treat her with a bit of love.
So, singing “We Are The Champions” with one hand pressed firmly on the gearstick, the other wiping steam from the windows, we drove around the first dreaded speed-bump on our way to pick my girlfriend up from University. When we arrived at Bath, we realised she had a lot of shoes. In fact, she had so many shoes that Ross had to use the 6th seat of the 5-seater BuyMyFaceMobile™.
Many loyal fans and followers have been requesting a method of viewing all of the face painting activity that has occurred over the last 3 and a half months. While the website is currently being updated, I thought I’d quickly create a page so that you can see all of their brilliant artwork:
https://buymyface.com/faces.php
It’s no secret that Ed and I have become somewhat derailed in the last few weeks. The rock and roll lifestyle of the face painter crawled under our skin and began to take its toll on two innocent young boys. We’ve become slack – playing Halo into the early hours of the morning and eating more egg pasta than appropriate
Well all that’s about to change! We’re back now, and it’s time to remind the industry exactly who the f*** Ross & Ed are! But before we begin the war on everything that’s wrong with the world… let’s first enjoy a nice cold Duff. Ah yeh!
Exactly What It Says On The Tin
Watch Out World!
Today Ross and I noted a problem with most traditional forms of advertising… not enough people want to eat the advert! This is something we set about to resolve today, this joyous day of cake-ad:
Step 1: Bake a Cake
Fresh out of the oven, icing and all
Step 2: Don’t eat the cake
Step 3: Ice the cake with the blue “Capita Hartshead” logo
Very 'ice
Step 4: Locate blue sweets
Step 5: Add a few blue sweets to cake
Step 6: Add more blue sweets to cake
Step 7: Repeat step 6
Haribo Smurfs
Step 8: Get carried away (aim achieved: people want to eat this advert. Side effect: you can no longer read the advert)
Step 9: Repeat step 2
I Can Totally Get My Leg Around a Further 180°
Last night, after a long day in the office, we found time to go for a drink with some friends from university. That sounds like fun, right? Wrong! Once again, Ed and I got back home in the early hours of the morning, and ended up playing our usual game – eat everything in the fridge.
To make up for all that indulgence, I thought it was best to try and get a bit of exercise, and as always, inspiration lay on the TV. After watching the latest Karate Kid film, I was pumped and ready to fly-kick my way to a healthy lifestyle. ‘Hiiya! Wacha! Hoorah! Ha… Ed?’ In my enthusiasm, it seems I’d struck my business partner – who for some reason had fallen asleep under a pile of cushions – square in the face.
Don’t worry though, Ed’s fine (I was only ‘Hachya-ing’ at 50%).